November 11, 2009

George Bailey, Redux!

As the corresponding secretary for a local theater group, I was tasked with sending out thank you cards for donations made in memory of someone who passed away. As I dd this, I was reading the tributes to this person. I was really impressed at the impact this person had made in people's lives. Suddenly, it dawned on me in a IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946) kind of moment: I wondered if MY life had had any kind of positive impact on people. How other people in my life would have been if I had never lived.


I'm pretty sure that I have not had the impact on most people's lives that I would have wanted to have. Our daughters will remember me as the father who did crazy things all the time, but never let them do what they wanted; the authoritarian father who never gave in when he should have. All of our friends and family will remember me as a man who spoke his thoughts, regardless of what they were; a man who, when opening his mouth, would have people running for cover because of the possibility of any number of things being said. My co-workers will probably not remember me at all because I've driven people away.

I had always been told that I was QUITE memorable. Now I realize that I am really not THAT memorable. I have encountered people that I've known previously who don't remember who I am. It's really quite disheartening.

I know that my family (birth and married) loves me very much. It's just a down time right now. I share this with you for that reason.

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