December 20, 2004

Holidays

I have found that I share a different outlook on the Christmas than almost everyone else (I won't be arrogant and say everyone because I am sure SOMEONE out there must agree with me. I'm just not sure who.).

I don't feel that there is any need for anyone to get me presents for Christmas. I feel that people have been given the idea that they have to purchase something to show that they care for you. That they can't show they care through other ways (i.e. making something, a hug, showing it the rest of the year, etc.). I think that it also teaches our children that affections can be bought (at least one day out of the year).

I don't want to hurt the people who we love and care for. We have quite a few friends in PA and will treasure them for the rest of our lives. The names go on and on (not as long a list as most people have, but still a few). We have had many people here show they care in immeasurable ways. Why does it have to involve purchases at Christmas when I can see how they feel the rest of the year? The dilemma breaks my heart.

On top of that, this is not isolated to Christmas. I feel the same way about birthday presents. In fact, about the only time I am willing to accept presents would be between my wife and me.

The problem arises when I have express this to other people and I get incredulous looks. Inevitably, to a T, I get the present anyway and a "Well, we just ignored you because we care". From my viewpoint, this does not honor me, even though I know that the giver has the entirely opposite intention (when it happens, the person is someone I think the world of and has a heart of 100 karat gold).

It is not like this is a peripheral belief and I can just placate the person and move on. This has become a core belief or, as they would say in the Army, a "hill to die on" (fight to the end). I worry about hurting people's feelings, but would really like people to understand where I am coming from.