Hotel Rwanda

I bought the movie Hotel Rwanda several months ago, right after it came out on video. I finally got around to watching it today. The movie (for the uninitiated) is about the Hutu genocidal massacre of the Tutsi minority (who were suspected of being complicitious with the Belgians when they controlled the country.

One advantage of older age is that you remember things that younger people only read about in the history books. I remember when the massacre was going on. I heard about people hiding in churches and being killed in there. It was beyond my comprehension then (and I was in my 30's at the time) that something like that could happen in my lifetime.

As I watched this movie, I got madder and madder. At what was happening in the movie, at what was happening in our world, at what was happening in our country/government AND, most of all, at what WASN'T happening in myself. In the movie, a hotel manager saves the lives of 1200 PEOPLE (not rodents, lizards or rabbits, but people). People indiscriminately killing people. From the movie AND what I remember, the U.S. government did NOTHING. We were still smarting from the butt-kicking in Somalia the year before. But I was also mad at myself because this happens every day in every way everywhere and I do almost nothing about it. In the past 50 years, it has happened in Germany, Russia, Cambodia, the U.S., the Middle East, Bosnia, Colombia, and Latin America.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, I imagine you saying. It has never happened in our country, the land of the free and the home of the brave. If it did, it was in the past. I knew nothing about it. But in the streets of our cities, people of all races are dying everyday just because of the color of their skin. Mugged, raped, tortured, murdered, etc. All over the US EVERY DAY!

Where does the cycle stop? When can we learn to love each other for our difference instead of hating ourselves for them?

Heavy Thunderstorm Thoughts

I am in the middle of a real cool electrical storm right now. That is one of few things that PA has over WA. WA has electrical storms, but they are few and far between. PA has at least several every month during the late spring/summer/early fall timeframe.

The storm has put me into a pensive mood. My loving bride has accused me many times of being an eternal skeptic and believing no one about anything. This is probably true. But I have come to find out that nothing is exactly what it seems to be. Here are some examples:

1. I know that my wife and children have chosen some families to admire as the perfect families. However, I have learned that there is no such thing as a perfect family. ALL families have problems. Every family has a certain amount of dysfunction, whether they admit it or not. I firmly believe that the only PERFECT family is a dead family (morbid thought, but a true one). Some people believe that the perfect example of the typical American family is Ozzie and Harriett (or Ward and June Cleaver). My response is: These families were never an example of the American family when these shows were on television. Keyword: TELEVISION (as in: NOT REALITY).

2. Our society tends to look down on the developmentally disabled (DD)as having less than most people because they don't meet a certain IQ standard, don't act a certain way, do "strange things" or any number of reasons. I have come to wonder if these people possess certain wonderful qualities that we "normal" (I guess that somewhere there is a standard makes us normal, but I am befuddled as to what that standard is) people have. I have been to/around Special Olympics several times and have seen some really beautiful people. Maybe not in the looks department, but those are transitory. They have an inner beauty that transcends any outer beauty by a long shot. In fact, I know one DD teenager who always manages to smile no matter what happens in her life. Her heart can be breaking into a thousand pieces and yet she will manage to pour love out to people a little bit later. She never carries a grudge. She has tantrums, but still is the most loving person I have ever met. And there are a lot of people like her. I know that MOST "normal" people don't have that capability. I firmly believe that we can learn from the DD's of the world.

It is amazing what thoughts occur to me during a good electrical storm.

Something's Gotta Give

My wife and I watched the Jack Nicholson/Diane Keaton movie Something's Gotta Give. I was absolutely astounded at how good it was. Up until tonight, I have never liked Diane Keaton. She has always played to a whiney neurotic type. She blew this role out of its shoes. She is gorgeous here and very sexy (definitely un-Keaton like, in my book). After watching part of the commentary, I am also impressed at her comedic abilities.

As for Jack Nicholson, every movie I have seen him in, he gets better. Even though he has a reputation as being arrogant, I have grown to like his movies more and more. As Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert once said, he could be his generation's Humphrey Bogart. Jack is always willing to take roles that are do not glorify him and make him look better. As Good as It Gets and The Witches of Eastwick are two good examples.

I also felt my own mortality watching the Jack Nicholson heart attack scene(s). This is another shining example of a good movie, one that makes you think about your own issues.

Go out and see it if you get the chance.

My Responsibilities

Lately, I have contemplated the amount of responsibility that I will have for my children after they have grown. I have been blessed with two wonderful children (this doesn't mean that I don't get angry with them, I DO!) and am looking forward to seeing them grown. But I have always wondered how much responsibility I have after they move out on their own. (or stay at home).

I got to thinking about this because I know a family that moves grown children back home when there is a crisis. They work through the crisis and, once the crisis is over, the grown children move back out on their own. At one time, I would have thought this ludicrous. But, the more that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Isn't home supposed to be a place that you can go to when things in the world get rough? A sanctuary in an ever growing storm? Like the theme song said in Cheers "a place where everyone knows your name". I believe that it is. So, does that end at the age of 18, 21, or some arbitrary number? Does it end once you have moved out? Or is a home always your home, no matter what your age, income, belief system, marital status, employment status, etc.? I also believe that it is.

Now I have also known people who take people into their house and let them live there for as long as they like, sponging off of the owner and doing nothing in return. This is not what I am referring to. That is an aberration of the idea of home. When we take our children into our house after they have grown, they will help with housework, buying groceries, errands, etc.

This has come to mind also as part of my middle age. I am watching our daughter graduate from high school and know that as a part of her life is ending, a new part is beginning. I feel that
I have witnessed the little child I cradled in my arms in 1987 become a very talented adult. This is wonderful. But I now know that I don't want to miss any of her future life. I want to be around to experience what she is going through and help guide her through the trials and tribulations of adulthood, being a parent, guide and friend through all of it. I also want her to know that she will always have a safe haven to come to if life should turn to caca.

I accepted the responsibility for my family in the latter half of the 20th century. I will carry that responsibility through the rest of my natural born days, even after our two children are grown and moved out.

Terri Schiavo

The situation with Terri Schiavo has become a nightmare for everyone involved. It is now a no-win situation for anyone involved in this case who is not in a Persistent Vegetative State (PVS). Here is where the situation stands (from my viewpoint):

Michael Schiavo - Even if his wife dies tomorrow, this nightmare will not end for this man. His in-laws will continue to make his life a living hell for as long as they draw breath. While he is doing the right thing by having them try to pull the plug on Terri (since she had expressed her wishes to him), I do not understand how he could have formed another family in the meantime. Baffles me to no end. I can't disagree with it strongly enough. But his sins do not have any bearing on the situation with his wife. Just means that, in life, there are no white knights charging in on trusty steeds to save the fair maiden. Only humans with faults trying to make perfect decisions in an imperfect world.

Mr. and Mrs. Schindler - My heart goes out to them. They lost a daughter 15 years ago to a potassium imbalance. It is never easy for a parent to let go. It would tear me apart to lose either one of my daughters to ANYTHING. However, her parents need to get a grip on reality and begin the grieving process. Their daughter will not come back. The time and energy that they are taking for appeals and motions and spewing forth bile about Michael Schiavo(I don't know if it's true what they say, but the courts have also found nothing substantial in it) could be used to help the thousands of other people that are going through the same thing (I do understand that they feel that they must do all they can, but it has gone far past that point now).

Congress - Our beloved congressional representatives and Senators played to their core constituency like a piano player at a recital. They wanted to make sure that they had a vote on record so that they could wave it in the mid-term (2006) elections. Then the Christian right (with all of its various factions and, of which, I am proudly a member) will support them and, hopefully, get them reelected. But they may have shot themselves in the foot. I know that it was a slap in the face to the Florida courts ("We don't trust you. We want a look-see ourselves."). I am reasonably sure that it was unconstitutional (just as it was when Gov. Jeb Bush tried the same stunt). They may have ended up alienating more people than appesing. Plus, on top of that, one question arises above all else in my mind. If the person in the PVS had come from the inner city or a legal immigrant (even an illegal immigrant, for that matter) or had been of another race or had already been disabled/poor, etc., would our esteemed legislators have gone to the same trouble that they went to? I will leave it as a thought to ponder.

Having said all that, understand that I am firmly pro-life. Abortion is murder. Flat out, no exceptions. But this is not about aborting a helpless fetus. This is strictly about allowing a person to have their say in how their life is maintained (or not maintained). The courts have repeatedly found that it was her wish not to be kept on life support. Now let's do our part to grant her one last request.

Super Bowl XXXIX

I have never been into watching sports on television. The last time I took any kind of interest was when Ara Parseghian was coach at Notre Dame (I believe that was the mid '70's, or somewhere in that region).

I know that most Americans have a certain team that they root for. I have been in/near Chicago, San Diego, Seattle and Philadelphia and haven't been to a professional sports game since the late '80's (when I went to a Fort Wayne Komets game with my family. My oldest daughter, who was a babe in arms at the time, fell asleep. She was also starting a non interest early).

The fervor in Philadelphia over the Eagles going to the SuperBowl baffled me. I watched intelligent people making complete fools of themselves. There was even a rivalry at work as our boss is from Long Island, which almost makes him a Patriot fan by default (I guess).

I am looking forward to Tuesday morning, since the fervor will be over (one way or the other). But it has definitely been interesting to watch.

My Living Will

I am about to break an unwritten rule of mine. I never get extremely personal on the Internet. But I have been tracking, with great interest, the status of Terri Schiavo. That is the woman who went into a coma 15 years ago and has been in a persistent vegetative state ever since. Since this information is written by me, about me, and only involves me, I feel free to tell the world. This is something that Mrs. Schiavo never did. Had she done this (one way or the other), then everyone involved (her parents, her husband and the state of Florida) would not be going through the turmoil involved with the extended legal process.

My wife and I have discussed all legal matters regarding my possible incapacitation and eventual death (we all die, don't we?). Cindy knows where I stand on my health care in all situations (at least to the best of our knowledge). I do not desire to be kept alive on a machine that will rob me of my free will. An example of this is the way that Ms. Schiavo has been kept alive. Cindy will make the determination of that at the appropriate time. Her wishes are to be honored as though they are mine, because they WILL be mine. We have spent many hours in discussion (more than most couples) and are fully in tune with each other on this matter. Anybody who attempts to interfere with this process will not be acting in my best interest, regardless of their status (family, friend, friend of the court, etc.).

She also knows that I have NO desire for a funeral and only want to be cremated and my ashes spread over the Straits of Juan de Fuca. If people desire to have a memorial service for me, I want it to be one of happiness, for I will have gone to a happier place. Though I know they probably won't be able to, I want people to be able to share stories of my lifetime and be able to laugh (kind of like the Mary Tyler Moore episode where Chuckles the Clown dies). Don't cry for me, for I will be in a much better place. Stand in the gap with my wife and children, for they will be the ones that need the help the most. Remember that you will show your love for me by passing it on to my family after I'm gone. If someone in my biological family passes before me, then I will do the same for you.

Also, don't do the same thing that they did for William Claude Dukenfield. Old W.C. had a bunch of stuff in his will and everyone ignored (almost) everything.

It may seem morbid, but I have that out of the way. I will update my will to reflect this (I can't remember if I had this in there as our will was drafted around seven or eight years ago). But realize that I don't see death as an end. I see it more as another beginning. The beginning of eternity.



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Snow, Finally!!!

We have been staying in all day due to the snowstorm that struck here the Northeast this morning. We are supposed to have between 12 and 18 inches before it is over. I have been going out and keeping the sidewalk around the house cleared. Since I enjoy shovelling snow so much (and I really do! For real!), I have been having a ball.

In fact, I had a chance to meet the gentleman who bought the house across Ridge Street. Real nice guy. Turns out that he is the Borough Manager for Hatfield PA. I got to talking with him today as we shovelled our prospective sides of the street. Then I went over and helped him shovel his side. After that, both of us came over and did the Minich's side of Ridge. We found out that we got more done quicker than if we had worked alone. I was told later that this was due to synergy, that two together can do more work than two separate. The gentleman who told me this was a wise old prospector type, kind of like Walter Huston in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Being a Systems Administrator (and a computer weenie, in general), it has amazed me how computers have become a very integral part of my life. Not just in work. Or play. I have reestablished many relationships through the Information Highway. Keep up on news. Many other things. I guess I am just a middle-aged computer geek. PROUD OF IT, TOO!

Martin Luther King

April 4, 1968 - To me, that will always be the day that I remember where I was when I heard of Martin Luther King's assassination. We lived near Fort Wayne IN on Coverdale Rd. I was 9 years old and in bed sick. It was my younger sister's seventh birthday party. My paternal grandparents had come over for the party (in the evening). Even then I had the habit of listening to the radio a lot, usually WOWO (which was a 50K watt powerhouse back then). The news came over that Martin Luther King had been assassinated. I was shocked that this had happened and went and told my parents the news. I do not remember the reaction.

I firmly believe in the same ideals that Martin Luther King stood for. There is no reason that all of us shouldn't be able to deal with each other as equals, regardless of race, religion, nationality, politics, etc. I don't think, though, that we will ever get past that. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be working our tails off to try and get past it. Unfortunately, though, if we get rid of prejudice against one race (i.e. blacks), we will unknowingly transfer it to another group (blondes?). And prejudice can be as simple as "OK, kids, we are in a bad neighborhood. Lock the doors." when you drive through a black neighborhood. On Martin Luther King day, let's take some time to reflect on how we can work better with those around us WITHOUT the preconceptions that have hindered the races down through the centuries. Do away with the racial remarks that have caused hatred (racial jokes, flagwords, etc). Look at ALL the people around the world as people and not less than you.

One more question that (sort of) ties in with this. Who came up with the color scheme? "Caucasians" (my relatives came from the area of the Germanic tribes, not the Russian Caucasus region) aren't white (my oldest daughter says that we are more like a peach color and she's right), "black" people aren't black (not even in Africa. Arguably, though, they could be said to be closer, but it's still not a true black. I've been to Kenya. I know), "Orientals" aren't yellow and the Native Americans aren't red. I have tried to research this and it all been to no avail.

Interesting Discovery

I had read an interesting article on www.fortwayne.com. In Fort Wayne IN (my former residence), the city had replaced a lot of the old stoplights with new LED lights. These are supposedly brighter and save electricity, which more than makes up for them being more expensive. They had replaced a small fraction of the lights and the electricity bill for these lights went down from 28K a month to 21K.

I had gotten to wondering if they had similar bulbs for residential use. So I went to the nearest Big Lots. I found bulbs that were five bucks a bulb. I ended up replacing ten bulbs in our house. Then we waited for the electricity bill to come in.

In the winter, our electricity bill is usually over a hundred dollars. This month our bill ran seventy-nine dollars. WOW! It definitely paid off. One more month like that and the bulbs are paid for.

The only thing to note is that the bulbs don't come on bright right away. They are dim at first and warm up. But a 100 watt bulb of this kind only uses 20 watts of electricity. A forty watt bulb only uses nine watts of electricity.

This is just something that I thought I would share with other people, so that they can look to save money also.

New Year 2005

I got very sick on Thursday evening. Since there is an unexpected surgery in the family coming up, I was quarantined to our bedroom. I ended up watching Gods and Monsters (Ian McKellen, Brendan Fraser), most of the second season of Everybody Loves Raymond and Beethoven (the dog movie with Charles Grodin). In the process, I learned some interesting things (that most people wouldn't give two whoops and a holler about):

1. At one time, I thought that Frank Barone (from Everybody Loves Raymond) reminded me of a very loved relative. That was only after watching the first two episodes of the first season. This is no longer the case.

2. Binding has many meanings. I learned a new meaning for it over the last few days.

3. I still don't like Charles Grodin (more annoying than a Woody Allen movie marathon).

4. My beloved Cindy is wonderful. Though I have known this for 19 years (now, since I have known her since 02Dec1985), I appreciate it more and more every day. I am willing to shout that from the mountaintop but, since there is no real mountains (at least in my book) on the East Coast, I will use this Blog to announce it. Part of the reason that I have come to realize it is that she endures someone that I am reasonably sure that I would want to strangle at some point. For the answer to this, click here!

5. Everyone looks at an arbitrary number (say, the year 2005) and uses that as a new beginning. They miss the chances they have with every single second of their lives. When I am granted another second of my life, I am on borrowed time (just as we all are). This is not depressing, but a very happy thought. I am glad that I have been honored by God to live that much longer.

6. I have come to realize that a necessary part of my seabag (for life) should be a handy dose of chill pills. A good friend from Oak Harbor mentioned to me that I need to "throttle back" (this person was from the Naval Aviation community). I now realize how true that is. A lot of things that I thought were aimed at me personally, never were.

7. For the first time (in a long time), the scales read a number that I hadn't seen in a while. Fortunately, it was a LOWER number this time. The 61 days that I have been working out on my Power Rider has been paying off.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year and pray that the New Year's resolutions that you made were reasonable ones. Keep up the determination and, even if you fail, remember that it is not the end. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Keep in mind that Ty Cobb (one of baseball's best hitters) failed almost sixty-five percent of the time. Failure is nothing more than a dress rehearsal for success.